A collaborative post with Peter from High Style Life magazine
We have all struggled with self-esteem at some point in life, its just one of those things. But the main thing is learning how to deal with it when it becomes low. Regardless of our appearance, we’re all sensitive and vulnerable and lots of things can get to us. Of course, no one likes to talk about their weaknesses, but rest assured, they’re there. Even the most confident looking person has insecurities and their attitude is often a mere cover up for their lack of self-esteem. The important thing to know is that the amplitude of your insecurities looks quite similar to other people’s as well, and there’s nothing to be ashamed of when it comes to the issue. However, that doesn’t mean we should settle for low self-esteem. There are ways to improve it and recipes for quick fixes, as well as long-term ones, so let’s see what can actually be done about that.
Peter: One of the ways to boost your confidence definitely is working out. It doesn’t have to be anything too demanding, Pilates, Zumba or aerobics or if you’re a fan of something else, you can go swimming (Bose: I really enjoy swimming, quite good at it too) or jogging on a regular basis or even start practising a specific sport recreationally. The goal is not to instantly convert yourself into a gorgeous sex symbol, but to feel good about yourself just because you’re doing something that benefits you and the exercises alone are making your body produce happy hormones, so it’s all settled.
Bose: I kind of forcefully stopped working out after leaving university as I wanted a gym that would give me the benefits that I need and be in a convenient reach to my house. I will definitely embark on this one very soon to prep myself for the summer and also just to aim to be fit. A lot of people want that goal body, which is fine depending on your preference but I just feel like you should, first of all, make it a lifestyle habit that you incorporate to stay active. Then once you feel like you’re at the stage to tone up specific areas, work on those main body parts. The way society is pressurised into feeling like a certain body type is ideal, that alone is enough stress to make your self-esteem low. Start smart and exercise for you!
Meet new people
Peter: Perhaps one of the reasons your confidence is in the gutter is the fact that you always spend time with the same group of people. That isn’t necessarily bad, but you should get yourself out there and make friends or something more. Try to act confident and eventually, you’ll believe your act. If you are wondering how to get a guy to notice you, you should know that all you need is to believe that you’re the most attractive person in the room and by doing so, you’ll convince everyone around you as well.
Bose: (I really struggle with this one sometimes, so I definitely need to consider some of these tips from Peter) Although I have improved on my confidence levels over the past years I do have my moments where I feel like ‘today is just not one of those days’ type of moods. But I have found that attending an event and some workshops have really made me get out of my comfort zone and meet like-minded or more experienced people who I can relate to.
Don’t compare and despair
Peter: There are people better than us and worse than us in any area, and there always will be. Comparing yourself to other people will bring you nothing but desperation and disappointment. I used to compare myself to the best guy in my class. He was much better than everyone else and regardless of how well I did something, it meant nothing to me since he was still so much better. However, we often don’t see the big picture. The truth was that the only thing he ever did in his life was studying, on the other hand, I was studying German, teaching English while going to school and I also had a social life. The moral of the story is that you should only compare yourself to yourself. See if you did something better than yesterday or a year ago. Keep track of your own progress and don’t obsess over other people.
Bose: We are all guilty of this, often I see myself doing this because of social media and as much as I love it, I have to discipline myself to take as many detoxes’ as possible. Currently taking one as we speak! I also found myself doing this a lot after my break up as I was constantly in my feelings and trying to distract myself from the feeling of hurt. But ended up sabotaging my mind even more. What I found helped me was focusing on myself and things that I wanted to accomplish rather than comparing my progress to others who live a completely different lifestyle to me.
Change your story
Peter: We all have that speech in our head prepared for situations when we fail to do something. I used to tell myself how stupid and incapable I am of doing anything right and when you deliver so much self-hatred in the time of yet another failure, it’s hard to pick yourself up, to say the least. This is why you need to convert that speech into a pep-talk. Think of everything good you’re doing or have done and been proud of your achievements. Focus on many different aspects. Maybe you have a gift for painting, cooking or driving a car. Perhaps you’re very mindful of other people and very altruistic? You can also think about what you do for the environment and whether or not you’re a good citizen.
Do something new
Peter: Whether it’s dying your hair or taking up a new hobby, everything is allowed. Change is good and it’s a great way to boost confidence. A lack of one is often caused by getting stuck in a rut. So, go ahead and leave your comfort zone, you’ll soon discover it’s a great place out there.
Self-love is the key to being confident. However, we find it hard to love ourselves in some situations and we should do our best to try and change that. Once you exit your comfort zone and change your story a bit, you’ll see how life can get a completely different colour and perspective.
In this post I was approached by Peter to collaborate and give you an uplifting post on self-esteem – Peter is a beauty & fashion editor at HighStyleLife magazine, living between the UK and AU. Besides writing he worked as a fashion stylist for many fashion events around Europe. Follow Peter on Twitter for more tips!
Shirt – Zara
Trousers – H&M
Jacket – H&M
Tags: Blog, Blogger, Confidence, Fashion blogger, featured, Growth, H&M, Motivation, OOTD, outfit of the day, Self-Love, SelfEsteem, Styling, Zara